An English Bride in Scotland by Lynsay Sands

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Overview
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Title: An English Bride in Scotland
Author: Lynsay Sands
Series: Highland Brides #1
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Historical romance, Scottish romance
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Novel
Publisher: Avon
Year: 2013
5th sentence, 74th page: Annabel supposed this was how ladies were treated… when they weren’t oblates in a nunnery.

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Synopsis

She never expected to marry

Annabel was about to take the veil to become a nun, when her mother suddenly arrived at the abbey to take her home… so that she can marry the Scottish laird who is betrothed to her runaway sister! She knows nothing about being a wife, nothing about how to run a household, and definitely nothing about the marriage bed.

He never expected to fall in love

From the moment Ross MacKay sets eyes on Annabel, he is taken with his shy, sweet bride… and the fact that she’s blessed with lush curves only makes him utter his own prayers of thanks. But when an enemy endangers her life, he’ll move the Highlands themselves to save her. For though Annabel’s not the bride he planned for, she’s the only woman he desires…

Thoughts

This was my first full-length Lynsay Sands novel. I’ve now read a few of her novellas which were absolutely brilliant. Plus, I’ve been a little obsessed with historical fiction in the last month or so, so it was kind of a perfect fit. Which is quite obvious, since I read the whole thing cover to cover in one night. It only has a different start and finish date because I read it overnight when I should have been sleeping… should probably stop doing that.

There is something that seriously draws me into Scottish romance. Yet, like Lynsay Sands, this is my first ever full length Scottish romance. I’m probably so incredibly drawn in because my ancestors were Scottish. Finally something I connect to a little more strongly. Having said that, I have never been to Scotland, and most likely never will. This story just reminded me how much I want to discover more about my past. How much I love stories like this. They’re easy, cute and give me a weird hereditary nostalgia.

Although this story was primarily about the love between Annabel and Ross, it was also very much about discovering who was stalking her. Normally in stories like this, it’s kind of obvious, or even known by the characters. And the tale is more about getting revenge and escaping the evil creature. Not so much in this. I honestly had no idea who was the culprit, and, more importantly, why they were trying to kidnap the English bride. It made an interesting point of conflict. And not one that I often find in romances.

Normally in romances, the central point of conflict comes from some misunderstanding in the relationship. I thought the whole nun thing would be a point of contention and that would definitely show itself in the sexual relations. Not so. The main issue for the leads in this was the stalker. I loved that there was an external point of conflict and that neither character was unbelievably stupid. It’s great in stories, but a departure from this trend is also brilliant.

<- More Lynsay SandsTo Marry a Scottish Laird ->

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You’d Better Not Pyout by Nancy Pickard

Book Review, , , ,
Overview
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Title: You’d Better Not Pyout
Author: Nancy Pickard
In: Wolfsbane and Mistletoe (Charlaine Harris & Toni L.P. Kelner)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Christmas, Vampires, Werewolves
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Gollancz
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: A silence descended on the strange scene.

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Synopsis

They’ve discovered the Santa is a vampire. What these two young Russian undead don’t realise is that he’s ancient for a reason. And really not interested in their help…

Thoughts

Any story that starts with a discussion about how Santa is a vampire is going to draw me in and make me incredibly happy from the very beginning. There is just something about the idea that is both sensical and terrifying. Definitely funny though. Especially the way in which it’s described…

As much as I loved Santa being a vampire, the part of this story I loved the most was that it featured African Painted Dogs. I absolutely adore those endangered creatures and the fact that they take out Santa’s reindeer… might be one of the more perfect stories I’ve read. It was just brilliant.

This is definitely one of those stories which takes our traditional tales and gives them a completely absurd spin. One that makes a weird kind of sense and makes you not really want to think about the original for a little time. Especially when even Rudolph gets a disturbing supernatural spin in this story!

 <- The Star of David ReviewRogue Elements Review ->

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Trespass by Sally Spedding

Book Review, , ,
Overview
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Title: Trespass
Author: Sally Spedding
In: The Mammoth Book of Jack the Ripper Stories (Maxim Jakubowski)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Crime, Historical fiction
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Slow
Format: Short story
Publisher: Robinson
Year: 2015
5th sentence, 74th page: Pani Bielski, good morning.

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Synopsis

She teaches young boys in the Jewish quarter of Whitechapel. And when she realises what a monster she’s teaching… things begin to go pearshaped.

Thoughts

I seem to have really enjoyed origin stories this year. Something about them completely draws me in and I like the way that a well-known character can be seen as an immature being. This origins story was a lot freakier. Because it was the beginning of Jack the Ripper. When he was a small child and everyone else ignored what he was becoming. So much, much creepier.

There was somehow something much more terrifying about this Ripper story. Probably because it was a small child. Children as killers and budding sociopaths freaks me out. Which is probably why I don’t like dolls (but that’s a conversation for another day). Using a small boy in this made me cringe in abject horror and feel incredibly, intensely uncomfortable.

At the conclusion of this story, I literally got up, and went and found my dog. The big one. That weighs almost two thirds of my weight… and gave him a huge, gigantic hug. It made me feel just a little bit better.

 <- The Ripper is You ReviewIn the Wake of the Autumn Storm Review ->
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Picture Planes by Michaela Roessner

Book Review, , , ,
Overview
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Title: Picture Planes
Author: Michaela Roessner
In: Alien Sex (Ellen Datlow)
Rating Out of 5: 3 (On the fence about this one)
My Bookshelves: Aliens, Lust, Poetry
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Slow
Format: Poem
Publisher: ROC
Year: 1990
5th sentence, 74th page: Where two steams of blood

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Synopsis

A poem about sex, lust and the loss of innocence.

Thoughts

I can spend hours staring at one poem, pulling apart each nuance and meaning. It’s something I’m far more likely to do than when there is prose around. This poem made me so uncomfortable that I didn’t do that this time. After all, it’s in the Alien Sex collection, so it’s not going to be a comfortable story.

When I started reading this poem, I thought it was a little more innocent. About sex, sexuality and that loss of innocence that goes along with it.

It’s not.

It’s more about possession and rape and horrible aspects of sexuality. Or at least, that’s what I got out of it.

 <- And I Awoke and Found Me Here on the Cold Hill’s Side ReviewLove and Sex Among the Invertebrates Review ->
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The Turn by Paul Kane

Book Review,
Overview
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Title: The Turn
Author: Paul Kane
In: Haunted Nights (Lisa Morton & Ellen Datlow)
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Horror, Spirits
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Blumhouse
Year: 2017
5th sentence, 74th page: Don’t ask me how or why.

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Synopsis

If you hear footsteps on All Hallow’s Eve. Make sure you don’t turn. It’ll be the last thing you ever do.

Thoughts

It’s human nature to turn around when you hear footsteps. To look into the dark when you don’t know what’s there. But, after this story, I think next time I hear a bump in the night… I’m going to hold my giant dog close and bury myself under the covers. It was just creepy. And intense. And creepy.

To make this story even more goosebumpy – it’s written from two different POVs. The hunter and the hunted. The being that really wants you to turn around and the man who knows that he just shouldn’t. it makes it so much more terrifying. Because you know that he’s waiting and Tom knows that he shouldn’t turn… but then there’s curiosity. Most short stories I don’t get crazy sucked into, I mostly just thoroughly enjoy the ride. Not so much with this one. I even pulled the pages really close to my face, because I was so absorbed. I stopped getting closer and closer when the book actually touched my nose…

I write quick dot point notes when I read a story. That way it makes it much easier to write a review when I actually get a chance to open my computer (which sometimes takes a few days). The last point in my comments on this? “But seriously, don’t FUCKING turn.” I think that that kind of sums this up well…

 <- A Kingdom of Sugar Skulls and Marigolds ReviewJack Review ->

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SA by J.A. Konrath

Book Review, , , ,
Overview
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Title: SA
Author: J.A. Konrath
In: Wolfsbane and Mistletoe (Charlaine Harris & Toni L.P. Kelner)
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Christmas, Humour, Werewolves
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Gollancz
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: This only started three months ago.

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Synopsis

There’s something not quite right about his bowl movements. When he discovers the cause he’s understandably freaked. And then he joins Shapeshifters Anonymous. And finds out the truth about Santa.

Thoughts

A Christmas story that starts with a man going to the doctor because there’s weird things in his poo… you know its going to be funny. Especially since I already knew that it was going to be a werewolf story of some kind. There are many brilliant poo moments throughout… I need to share this story with a nursing friend of mine, she’ll understand the funny.

Anyhow… to make the story funnier and funnier as it progresses. There is also the existence of Shapeshifters Anonymous. And my favourite character ever might be Phyllis. A member of SA who can’t actually shift. And there’s a werecoral. Which just raises SO many questions. Actually, I keep laughing and getting distracted as I try to write this review. Because just the memories of the amount of random humour throughout this is brilliant.

To top everything else off, there is a great little origins story of Santa and werewolves in this. It makes Santa evil, and I love that uniqueness of the tale. Some rejigs of origin stories can be a little predictable. But this one isn’t. It’s just downright hilarious.

 <- Christmas Past ReviewThe Star of David Review ->

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Steam by Jean Johnson

Book Review, , ,
Overview
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Title: Steam
Author: Jean Johnson
In: The Mammoth Book of Time Travel Romance (Trisha Telep)
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Romance, Time travel
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Robinson
Year: 2009
5th sentence, 74th page: Heat suffused his face.

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Synopsis

David has just inherited his family’s mysterious uncles estate. What he finds is a trip through time and the woman of his dreams.

Thoughts

I loved the premise of this story. Actually, a lot of it reminded me of The Alchemist’s Key by Traci Harding. Same idea of a modern setting and time travel. An eccentric family member bequeathing an estate to an unsuspecting young man. And ultimately, the guy finding true love as an aspect of all his time travelling activities. It was just quite sweet.

However, there are a series of letters throughout this romance to the two leads, from themselves. Which tells them that they end up together. Which, quite honestly, took a lot of the romance out of it. The excitement of finding out how they were going together and what barriers would be in the way were just completely removed. Which was a little bit frustrating.

I did love the loop effect of time though. The idea that what they are doing has been done before so that they know what to expect. But then I wonder where the loop starts. It all becomes very confusing. Does that mean that life is preordained and they don’t get any choices? Is everything in their lives outlined in these letters? Time travel is confusing.

 <- Catch the Lightning ReviewFalling in Time Review ->
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And I Awoke and Found Me Here on the Cold Hill’s Side by James Tiptree, Jr.

Book Review, , ,
Overview
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Title: And I Awoke and Found Me Here on the Cold Hill’s Side
Author: James Tiptree, Jr.
In: Alien Sex (Ellen Datlow)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Aliens, Lust
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Slow
Format: Short story
Publisher: ROC
Year: 1971
5th sentence, 74th page: I turned my holocam to show its big World Media insigne and started my bit about What It Meant to the People Back Home who were paying for it all.

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Synopsis

We always want what we can’t have. But what if what we want spells the end of our species?

Thoughts

I swear it’s the human condition – we always want what we just can’t have. It seems to be the number one thing that leads people to make some incredibly stupid decisions. It also seems to be the thing to that drives people to become greater versions of themselves. A double-edged knife. One that is a great theme to follow throughout this story. And was probably way too relatable at this point in my life.

In the case of this story, what humans desire is aliens. Aliens they actually can’t have sex with. Ones that they desire so severely that they are spelling the end of their species. It’s totally weird. Definitely gross. And made me think about when you want to follow your impulses. Sometimes it’s better to think through what you actually want.

This story is, like many others in the Alien Sex collection, weird and dark. It wasn’t as uncomfortable as the rest of the stories and nowhere near as graphic. But it still made me stop and think.

 <- Saving the World at the New Moon Motel ReviewPicture Planes Review ->
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A Kingdom of Sugar Skulls and Marigolds by Eric J. Guignard

Book Review, , ,
Overview
Image result for book cover haunted nights ellen datlow

Title: A Kingdom of Sugar Skulls and Marigolds
Author: Eric J. Guignard
In: Haunted Nights (Lisa Morton & Ellen Datlow)
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Ghosts, LGBTQI, Urban fantasy
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Blumhouse
Year: 2017
5th sentence, 74th page: Abuelita last shakes a single bony finger at me.

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Synopsis

All he wanted was to see Santi one last time. But a misspelt sugar skull and an accidental run in with the spirits get in the way. They also teach him a very valuable lesson.

Thoughts

In a collection of Halloween stories, I was so excited to find a Dia de los Muertos story. Like, ridiculously excited. I can still remember the grad paper that I wrote comparing Halloween and Dia de los Muertos. And I’ve been obsessed ever since. So the fact that there was a story entirely featuring this celebration… wow!

I did get a little bit confused when I realised that the lead narrator was a male. For some reason, the voice sounded incredibly feminine and I just made an assumption. When I realised that the person mourning the death of a loved one was male and he was mourning what happened because of his homosexuality. I was much, much happier. It worked out so much better that way.

The gangster wannabe homophobes in this story seriously pissed me off. Like ridiculously. But that’s okay, because there is an Abuelita who you just don’t mess with in this story. One that can still own people… even when she’s beyond the grave.

 <- All Through the Night ReviewThe Turn Review ->

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Love and Sex Among the Invertebrates by Pat Murphy

Book Review, , ,
Overview
Image result for alien sex book cover

Title: Love and Sex Among the Invertebrates
Author: Pat Murphy
In: Alien Sex (Ellen Datlow)
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Dystopia, Insects
Dates read: 29th December 2019
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: ROC
Year: 1990
5th sentence, 74th page: The warmth of sunlight will cause the creature to extend his sail and gather electrical energy to recharge his batteries.

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Synopsis

Animal sex is entirely unique. But what if it’s the invertebrates which are the next evolutionary step? Not us humans?

Thoughts

At the end of the world, one scientist fights to create something that will last. It’s a nice idea, except for the fact that you know… she’s dying. And it’s a quite tragic ending to a very uncomfortable collection. But also a brilliant story. Though that might be because I have an obsession with bugs, and there is a lot of talking about weird animal sex.

I love that this story investigates evolution. There is such an assumption that we are the pinnacle of evolution and the end of the evolutionary train. But, that’s probably not actually the case. One day we’re likely to die out. In a pretty intense way, this short story questions those assumptions and makes you really think about the future. Which was awesome. And then I had to read something happy and light, because I don’t want to think about the world in that much depth.

This was a perfect story to end on for the Alien Sex collection. It was bittersweet and thoughtful. Still uncomfortable, but not one that leaves a really bad taste in your mouth at the end of it. Just one that is a intense.

 <- Picture Planes ReviewThe Beastly Bride Review ->
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