Tag Archives: Mental health

The Woman in Me by Britney Spears

Book Review, , ,
Overview

Title: The Woman in Me
Author: Britney Spears
Rating Out of 5:  (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Biographies, Celebrity, Mental health
Pace: Medium
Format: eBook, Novel
Year: 2023

Thoughts

Sometimes I read biographies to feel good about life, sometimes I read them to learn something new. And then there are times when I read them because I’m very familiar with the person and I’m absolutely fascinated about the nonsense in their lives. I knew that this wasn’t going to be one of those biographies that was ultimately feel good and made me have faith in humanity. But, I also wasn’t wrong when I thought that this was going to be seriously fascinating. There were moments throughout that were kind of hard to read, but overall, I had a lot of joy in learning more about Britney Spears’ viewpoint of her life and rise to fame. But, more importantly, there is so much hope there for the future too.

One of the parts of The Woman in Me that I found most difficult was Britney’s recollection of the early days of her career. She is adamant that many of the highly sexualised aspects of her career were her own choices. That she always wanted to dance and sing in that way. And even though this is probably true to a degree, I found it horrifying that her parents decided to, at the very least, passively stand by and let her be sexualised in such a way when she was a fifteen year old child. There was something horrifying and icky about it before (when I found out just how old she was), but now, as an adult, and reading about it. Yeah, it just becomes a hell of a lot more Nope.

Something I seriously loved about The Woman in Me is how honest Spears is about not only her depression, but also her many challenges and mental health issues. Her love for her children just jumps off the page. And honestly, all things aside, if I was threatened with never seeing my children again on a frequent basis, I would’ve done a whole lot worse than shaving my damn head. Throughout all of the battles that she faces, it’s really heartwarming to see that she places her love of her children above all else. I know that the use of children against a spouse is not an unknown story, but it’s still absolutely heart wrenching to read about children being used as pawns. No matter what the circumstances, it’s just unfathomable to me. But I guess when there is untold amounts of money to be made or had…

I’m not going to lie, when I heard bits in the media about #FreeBritney and the conservatorships, I really didn’t think much of it. I tend to find the media and all of the nonsense that surrounds celebrities to be a bit much at times. And I tend to ignore it. But, this is one of those few instances that I wish I had been more aware and alert. All I can hope is that in telling her story, Spears is able to not only set the record straight, but also that the legalities of conservatorships will be seriously overhauled. In telling such a disgusting narrative, hopefully there will be some positives and joy for others in the future.

<- WillThis Is Me ->

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Joyful Courage by Dr. Casey O’Roarty

Book Review,
Overview

Title: Joyful Courage: Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey
Author: Dr. Casey O’Roarty
Rating Out of 5: 3 (On the fence about this one)
My Bookshelves: Mental health
Pace: Slow
Format: eBook, Novel
Year: 2019

Thoughts

I picked this up because, as with everything, I’m trying to find ways to improve on my parenting skills. Particularly as I now have a Threenager on the loose. Whilst I don’t regret reading this, there weren’t necessarily any new ideas or wisdom imparted during this read. However, it was good to reflect on skill sets and emotional regulation that I know about, just haven’t necessarily been practicing lately. Rather than being a groundbreaking read for me, it was one in which I could use the words to reflect and remember some of the tactics that I’ve already been working on, but often forget about in the heat of the moment.

One of the aspects of this novel that I enjoyed the most is that it gave me a name with which to refer to that out of control feeling. The moment before I become “Yelley Mum”, I know that I’m starting to let my emotions run away with me. I’ve boarded the “Emotional Freight Train”. And now, everytime I manage to hop off on time and not turn into out of control yelling mum, I smile to myself and wave goodbye to the train in my mind’s eye. I like that just being able to name the feeling that I know we all have has helped me to minimise the frequency with which it barrels through our lives.

Although there were no new techniques suggested in this for me, I’m also aware that I’ve been through a fair bit of therapy and I’m currently studying to become a therapist. Examining my responses, triggers and emotions is all part of the parcel. But, it still reminded me to do so in my own parenting journey as well as my personal life. And for someone who hasn’t necessarily had the opportunities to use these techniques, this would be a great and open way to start exploring some of these ideas.

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Unmoor by Mark Oshiro

Book Review, , , ,
Overview
A Universe of Wishes: A We Need Diverse Books Anthology by Dhonielle Clayton

Title: Unmoor
Author: Mark Oshiro
In: A Universe of Wishes (Dhonielle Clayton)
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Contemporary, Mental health, Romance
Pace: Slow
Format: Short story
Publisher: Crown
Year: 2020

Thoughts

This was such a bittersweet short story. I liked the premise, and I totally understand the need. But it was also kind of sad. I love the idea of having memories unmoored from a location. Rather than just obliterating the memory of someone, removing it from its attachment so that you can still enjoy a place is kind of beautiful. It turns the hurts of the past to something that can be recalled as needed.

The end of this short story makes this whole tale feel like a bit of a misunderstanding. I mean, Felix might be continuing to go ahead with his decision to become unmoored. But, there is a moment when you wonder if he really should carry through with his plans. And whether or not untethering yourself is really worth all of the pain.

Saying goodbye to someone you love is always difficult. Which left me feeling a little bit heartsick at the end of this story. It was painful and a reminder that its sometimes more difficult for us to say goodbye than we would otherwise like.

<- The WeightThe Coldest Spot in the Universe ->

Image source: Goodreads

Going Under by Sonia Henry

Book Review, , , ,
Overview

Title: Going Under
Author: Sonia Henry
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Australian authors, Contemporary, Medical, Mental health
Pace: Medium
Format: eBook, Novel
Year: 2019

Thoughts

I bought this thinking that it was a memoir about a woman who worked as a doctor in Australia. Turns out it’s actually a fictional work. But it still had the tone that j was looking for. After all, it is incredibly obvious that Henry is a doctor and that the story line pulls from her own experiences. I should also mention that although I seriously enjoyed this book, it is NOT a happy story. You finish it feeling kind of content, but it’s not a roses and rainbows kind of finish…

I remember considering medicine when I finished up with high school, but ultimately decided that I didn’t have the patience with people required to do so. Reading this just made me all that much more certain that I made the right call there. Kitty (the lead character of this) sounds the entire story burnt out, exhausted and overwhelmed. She definitely enjoys her career to a degree, but that level of exhaustion and stress? Definitely not a career path I would ever be happy in.

The aspect of this story that strikes me the most is dealing with sex, and assault. There are some pretty hefty trigger warnings in this. And Henry quite bluntly talks about a broken system in which junior staff are constantly abused in a number of fashions. And the incredibly serious consequences that can be felt because of such abuse. It will break your heart, but it’s also worth really thinking about the price that some people pay for their profession. And why this should never be the case.

Although there is a lot of very serious messages in this novel, there is also a lot of humour. The day-to-day existence of these junior doctors may be difficult, but they manage to temper that with some kind of bizarre shenanigans. Plus, the tightness and love found in their relationships reminds you that even in the most adverse situations, things can turn out for the best. And sometimes all you need to stop from going under is a good friend by your side.

<- More Australian authorsMore medical ->

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I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy

Book Review, , , ,
Overview

Title: I’m Glad My Mom Died
Author: Jeanette McCurdy
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Actors, Celebrity, Memoirs, Mental health
Pace: Slow
Format: eBook, Novel
Year: 2022

Thoughts

I’m not going to lie, this was an incredibly difficult book to read. Where I normally tend to just dive into a book of this quality and get really stuck into it, I definitely had to stop and start this one quite a few times. A lot of what McCurdy writes about it really hard to stomach. And heartbreaking. And difficult. But it was also written with a sense of humour and humility that left me smiling and wanting more, more, more.

There would have been so many nuances throughout McCurdy’s life and experiences that she could have written about. But, as the title indicates, this story really focuses on her mother and the lasting impressions that she has left upon her daughter. Where it would be easy to just write this with anger and hurt (I mean, the woman did a number on her), McCurdy is able to write with humour and love. The realism of the fact that you can both hate and love a person. That you can be aware of their bullshit, but also still want their approval. McCurdy was able to indicate this complex mix of emotions beautifully.

I think what I found the most confronting about this story was the amount of love that is there. It is so easy to be angry and hateful. It is hard to heal when you are stuck in that negative. I can’t imagine having the strength of personality and kindness to not be angry and hateful to be completely frank. I mean, there is a whole lot of other stuff throughout this to be angry at too. But in particular, the relationship with family and the different influences that have been around since childhood – it was hard.

I’ve never had an eating disorder, but I know plenty who have. And, more than that, I completely understand the work and difficulties that come with overcoming your mental health nonsense. The fact that McCurdy has been able to do this is honestly inspiring. The fact that she is able to be open about her struggles even more so. I absolutely loved this memoir and it is definitely one I would probably enjoy reading again in the future.

<- Twelve PatientsBlack Saturday ->

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Where’d You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple

Book Review, , ,
Overview

Title: Where’d You Go, Bernadette
Author: Maria Semple
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Contemporary, Humour, Mental health
Pace: Fast
Format: Novel
Year: 2012

Thoughts

I know that this book has a lot of strong recommendations and reviews. But I honestly wasn’t expecting too much from it. Probably because I don’t often love the books that get such rave reviews. Sometimes I think that people give said reviews because they feel that they SHOULD, not because it was actually enjoyable.

Having said that. I will most definitely rave about this book. It was nothing that I expected and it drew me in from the very first moment. After all, there is a mystery to solve from the very beginning. Combine that with the ways in which Bee is able to structure and tell the story, the larger than life characters… I was completely enmeshed.

I love that this is a story about the love between a mother and daughter. It’s a reminder that real love doesn’t come with conditions, but is about accepting and loving someone for exactly who they are. Or at least, that’s how I took this story. That Bee is able to find out more and more about her mother’s flaws. But still love her.

Underlying all of this is the question of mental health. What makes someone sane? What makes them “normal”? And where is the damn line between the two? I still have no answers, and it seems that Semple doesn’t either. A perfect approach as far as I’m concerned.

<- Today Will be DifferentMore Maria Semple ->

Image source: Goodreads

Blackout by Sarah Hepola

Book Review, , , ,
Overview

Title: Blackout: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget
Author: Sarah Hepola
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Alcohol, Biographies, Memoirs, Mental health
Pace: Medium
Format: Novel
Year: 2015

Thoughts

As someone who has had a few years of drinking too heavily and experiencing blackouts… this hit a bit too close to home. But in a good way. Because rather than being judgemental and harsh, Hepola talks about her journey with acceptance, honesty and a good dose of humour. Brutally honest and wonderfully open, this book was definitely well worth the read.

Not only does this memoir delve into issues with alcohol, but also talks about what its like to be a woman. We’re in a world where being a drinker as a woman is impressive in your late teens and early twenties. But by the time you start edging towards the thirties? Expectations change. Its a hard reality to walk and Hepola did such justice to highlighting how difficult it is to navigate.

One of the many aspects of this memoir that I loved is that Hepola doesn’t blame her insecurities and reliance on alcohol on anyone or anything. In fact, she mentions friends having concerns about their kids following the same route she did and pointing out that there’s nothing that can be done. There is no blame or fault throughout this, and its… a refreshing way to talk about an issue that affects a lot of people.

Once I opened the first one of Blackout, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. There is something intense and honest about this. And a little too relatable. It’s definitely a journey that I look forward to taking again and again. I reminder of the line that we all need to draw, and how some people have more difficulties with that than others.

<- The Truths We HoldA Cup of Water Under My Bed ->

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The Answer to the Riddle is Me by David Stuart MacLean

Book Review, , ,
Overview

Title: The Answer to the Riddle is Me: A Tale of Amnesia
Author: David Stuart MacLean
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Medical, Memoirs, Mental health
Pace: Slow
Format: Novel
Year: 2014

Thoughts

Finishing this, my first thought was… WOW. Followed closely by holy crap. And finally by just a fleeting feeling of fear. I mean, we’re talking about a medication with known side effects that changed this man’s life forever. Completely. Totally. And maybe not tragically now, 10 years later, but most definitely at the time. And with our current global climate? Yeah, that is guaranteed to give you a little fear if you’re sane.

At first I, admittedly, struggled a little to get into this. Partly because what was happening just felt so ridiculously outlandish. I mean, I just can’t even fathom the confusion and mental gymnastics that such a rude awakening would leave you with. I have enough trouble dealing with my OWN reality (but don’t we all?) let alone being given realities that aren’t even true. It definitely makes your heart squeeze painfully.

Then, I found the first part difficult because of the jumpiness of the writing. It was incredibly important – without this style and confusion I don’t think MacLean would have been able to impart the horrors and confusion of those first moments in India. But it was incredibly hard to read. Maybe because I work with people who have similar realities at times, and it was honestly confronting and difficult to read.

Yet, I also found this book impossible to put down. For all the moments that made me uncomfortable, I also felt more and more intrigued. After all, if we don’t push our boundaries, particularly in our reading, how are we going to grow? The Answer to the Riddle is Me not only told a pretty damn intense story of hospitalisation, amnesia and mental health. It also bought up issues of identity and self. It highlighted how important our past is to the present and how easy it can be to lose this.

<- Full BlownHeart Berries ->

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Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot

Book Review, , ,
Overview
Heart Berries by Terese Marie Mailhot

Title: Heart Berries
Author: Terese Marie Mailhot
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Memoirs, Mental health, Race
Dates read: 29th August – 4th September 2021
Pace: Slow
Format: Novel
Publisher: Counterpoint
Year: 2018
5th sentence, 74th page: You were still fucking me, though.

Synopsis

Heart Berries is a powerful, poetic memoir of a woman’s coming of age on the Seabird Island Band in the Pacific Northwest. Having survived a profoundly dysfunctional upbringing only to find herself hospitalized and facing a dual diagnosis of post-traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder, Terse Marie Mailhot is given a notebook and begins to write her way out of trauma. The triumphant result is Heart Berries, a memorial for Mailhot’s mother, a social worker and activist who had a thing for prisoners; a story of reconciliation with her father – an abusive drunk and a brilliant artist – who was murdered under mysterious circumstances; and an elegy on how difficult it is to love someone while dragging the long shadows of shame.

Thoughts

For such a short book, this is incredibly difficult to read through. It took me quite a while. Mostly because the emotions and power of Mailhot’s words were unforgettable. Powerful and filled with such rawness that I frequently had to pause and look at another story.

Mailhot is able to address issues of mental health, abuse and transgenerational trauma in a completely unforgettable way. It is, in places, physically difficult to read about this. But it is also filled with a cautious feeling of optimistic hope.

Under all of the writing and experiences, Mailhot has this overwhelming love for her children. Love for her family. And love, ultimately for herself. There is that cautious optimism throughout, but there is also a great sense of overwhelming love and attachment to those in her life.

This is one of those books that MUST be read. I will probably read this half a dozen times and find something new in it that I just wasn’t expecting. The complexity and power of this writing will most definitely give you new insight with each and every new read.

<- The Answer to the Riddle is MeTwelve Patients ->

Image source: Goodreads

The Gap by Benjamin Gilmour

Book Review, , ,
Overview
The Gap by Benjamin Gilmour - Penguin Books Australia

Title: The Gap
Author: Benjamin Gilmour
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Medical, Memoirs, Mental health
Dates read: 22nd – 25th August 2021
Pace: Medium
Format: Novel
Publisher: Viking
Year: 2019
5th sentence, 74th page: I lean down beside our patient and speak in a whisper so no one will hear.

Synopsis

Benjamin Gilmour has been a paramedic for more than twenty years. He has seen his fair share of drama. But the summer of 2008 remains etched in his memory for the very worst reasons.

In this riveting memoir, Gilmour recounts the call-outs that summer: some dangerous, some gruesome, some downright ridiculous. And we meet fellow paramedic John who, they say, can get a laugh out of everyone except the dead. As they city heats up, however, even John begins to lose his sense of humour. People are unravelling – and Benjamin and John are no exception.

The Gap is a vivid portrait of the lead-up to Christmas; an unflinching, no-holds-barred look at what happens after the triple-zero call is made – the drugs, nightclubs, brothels, drunk rich kids, billionaires, domestic disputes, the elderly, emergency births, even a kidnapping. Patients share their innermost feelings, and we witness their loneliness, their despair and their hopes. 88 BB Beautifully written and sharply observed, The Gap exposes the fragility of our lives and the lengths that paramedics will go to try to save us.

Thoughts

I honestly just bought this because I needed a book with an ambulance on the cover. I really didn’t expect this to be such an amazing emotional rollercoaster ride. It was just… words can’t describe. I just don’t have the words to describe what it felt like to read this book. There’s such a potent emotional ride that had me reading this story until late in the night. Bated breath and eyes burning.

I knew that being a paramedic is an incredibly mentally taxing career. I know a few people who work in the field and the mental toll that it can take on a person. But, Gilmour’s words add a whole other layer of context to this reality. It provides faces and personalities to an issue that we all know is there. Provides a face to the trials, tribulations and tragedies of paramedics and those working within the health sector. It also kind of broke my heart throughout as I read about the daily life and experiences of Benjamin and his partners.

The title didn’t really mean much to me at the beginning of this novel. I mean, cool, it’s called The Gap, but that meant literally nothing to my brain. Then I read the opening paragraphs – and the title began to make much more sense. Which wasn’t necessarily a good thing. I mean, you knew some of this was going to be a tough read because it’s about a day in the life of a paramedic. When there is a spot that he is frequently called to that is known for suicides…it’s going to be a whole new kettle of fish and difficulties.

I’ve been on a good run of books lately. Read a few that, once I close the final page, I just lie there, staring at the ceiling. This was most definitely one of them. Although Gilmour deals with the very serious issues of mental health and wellbeing, there is humour and light throughout his words. Some incredibly difficult real world realities are faced up to, but they are paired off with some of the more ridiculous adventures of the paramedics. It shows you that whenever there is dark, you can also find some light.

<- CommittedBits and Pieces ->

Image source: Penguin Books Australia