Tag Archives: University

I’m Screwed

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Study

I had an assignment due today. And I haven’t even started it. I thought that I had started to think about it, so I had a bit of an idea about what I needed to do. But, it turns out that my case study has already been picked for me, so it is nothing like what I thought. Which means I’m screwed. It’s not getting handed in on time. I’m just hoping to get it in less than 24 hours late… but even that feels kind of unlikely. I’ve spent 2 hours staring at the screen and the template trying to figure out what I’m actually doing. Why oh why did I choose a business subject?!?!? I know nothing about business!

So basically, I’m screwed. Especially since I never hand things in late. I’m the girl who finishes major assignments (did I mention that I’m talking about a major assignment here?) a week early. Which is just freaking me out even more.

So I’m sitting here wondering what’s going on – am I struggling with this because I’ve freaked myself out by being so late? Or is it because I just generally don’t mesh well with business as a subject? Or is it just time to take a break from studying? I’ve fallen a little behind because of being sick the last few weeks, but also because I’ve been working so much. And, working and reading and writing has actually left me really enjoying life. So, I keep wondering where that leaves study?

Full disclosure, I’m doing postgrad studies and this is my seventh year out of high school and in university. My partner doesn’t understand studying – he’s a tradie. So I’m left with my own mind and decisions – when is enough enough with study? When do you say, I haven’t had any luck getting work from University, so maybe I’ll try something new? Which, since I’m not actually handing things up on time (and struggling for almost the first time ever), I am starting to question my future goals. The fact that there’s a mortgage and two fur babies just makes everything more difficult.

Alright, contrary to the title of this blog – I’m not actually screwed. I’m struggling with one assignment (and the end of a subject), but it’s not really the end of the world. It’s just a reminder that I think my world has changed. Study is no longer my first priority. And sometimes it’s a horrible thing (like today), but sometimes it’s actually kind of nice. So, maybe instead of freaking out about what I’m going to do in the future. And about whether or not I will be able to finish this damn assignment… I’m going to focus on just taking every single moment and minute that comes my way.

Image source: GuoGuiyan

I’d Rather Be Alone

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I'd Rather Be AloneOriginally published by OnDit Issue 84.4 on Tuesday 26 April 2016.

Last month I was asked to go on my honours camp. It wasn’t compulsory, and was not only going to cost me money, but also mean that I would be missing work (and therefore losing more pay.) I decided not to go. Enter: my Mother.  ‘Why don’t you go?’… ‘You should make some more friends.’….‘Stop being antisocial.’ It was really irritating, but it also made me wonder if there was something wrong with me.  No, there’s not something wrong with me. I am just introverted. I’m not saying that myself (or other introverts) don’t have friends or enjoy their company. But, I personally like my very small group, and their familiarity with the ins, outs n crazies of Skye.They’re the people who know my history and are the  key players in my life. And they love me. But these friends also get that I will quite literally disappear for a week or two without a word. They understand that I’d rather be alone.

Sometimes.

Sometimes being an introvert, and (in my case) just a little too weird for most people, isn’t fun at university. I remember my first year I was told that it was all about making friends.. I met new people, I laughed, I talked. And a month later I still didn’t feel like I’d made friends. But the years have taught me that uni isn’t necessarily about that, it’s about embracing who you are. So here are some of my favourite things about being an introvert and just being alone.

Being Weird
Not having a group of people around me all the time means that I can just be myself. I am slightly (alright, incredibly) kooky at times and sometimes it is really frustrating having to explain yourself to others. ‘No, I’m not “special”’. ‘Yes, I am smart’. And my personal favourite, ‘Yes I know what traffic lights are!’ (I’m from the Barossa, apparently some people assume that means no traffic…)

IntrovertI love being able to dance and sing to my music when I want and not worry that I’m bothering somebody with the noise. Being alone means that I get to do what I want, when I want and that’s okay. Some days that means writing, or reading, or even crocheting a scarf (still mastering that skill I’m afraid). But regardless of what it means, sometimes being alone (even if you’re an extrovert) lets you embrace yourself – scars, bumps and everything.

Few Friends
I love my small group of friends; most days I can count on one hand the people that I class as true friends. It’s always refreshing to rock up to your mate’s house – in trackies, no bra s and a packet of favourite junk food in hand. They’re the friends that will let me come over, flop on their couch and sometimes never even say a word. I don’t get worried that I’ve made an ass of myself in front of them or that I’d somehow said something stupid.

Some of my more extroverted friends are constantly running around with other people’s drama – they love it, so I guess kudos to them. But that seems like the most draining thing to be doing.

Study
This is a university magazine, so eventually I was going to talk about study. I am in constant awe about how much I get done with no one else around. I get my assignments finished so much quicker, and it means I have heaps more time to do the things I love.

My first year of university I had one classmate who would rock up to a Biology tute every Wednesday morning hungover. Apparently he got insanely drunk every day or two. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good drink with friends, but being hungover in class? I’d rather not. Go the introverted sober studiers!

ThorFur Babies
I’d rather be alone, but I’m not technically alone. Even now with the house entirely to myself, I still have company. Not socialising every spare moment means that I get to spend so much more time with my fur babies.

Stressed out? Stuff a call to my friend, I’ll just grab my beagle puppy and give her a huge hug (if she holds still for long enough). In need of entertainment? Watch the dogs run around in circles. Or try and stop my possum from going straight down my shirt and scratching my stomach. Need a good, emotional booster? Start up a game with the dog and watch her be delirious with happiness.

In the end, I didn’t go to my honours camp. I spent the week reading, relaxing and just enjoying the company of myself and my fur babies. I can’t think of a better, or more productive way to spend my time.

Image source: Odyssey
Image source: The Huffington Post
Image source: Taken by author