Title: For Sale Author: David Sakmyster In: Blood Lite III: Aftertaste (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again) My Bookshelves: Comedy, Easy reading Pace: Slow Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: Carefully reflect on all the intangibles.
A cleverly worded ad for the sale of a haunted house… would you buy it?
I always think that the adverts for houses are entertaining. The wording is always so majestic, the terms often obscure. And guessing what’s secretly wrong with the place can be kind of fun. Well, with this ad… I really didn’t have to go far to guess. But my god was it an entertaining read.
I love how this ad completely takes the mickey out of real estate agents and haunted houses. Everything that is stereotypical and expected appears here and the determined positive spin on the property had me laughing throughout. It’s kind of a pity that this sort of humour isn’t more prevalent within more for sale ads…
Title: Mort Author: Terry Pratchett Series: Discworld #4, Death #1 Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Medium Format: Novel Publisher: Corgi Year: 1987 5th sentence, 74th page: And so Mort came at last to the river Ankh, greatest of rivers.
Death comes to us all. When he came to Mort, he offered him a job.
Henceforth, Death is no longer going to be the end, merely the means to an end. It’s an offer Mort can’t refuse. As Death’s apprentice he’ll have free board, use of the company horse – and being dead isn’t compulsory. It’s a dream job – until he discovers that it can be a killer on his love life…
Death is always considered such a horrifying and exacting end. But, in the case of Mort, it’s really just a beginning… and an apprenticeship. With Pratchett’s unique and entertaining take on it.
Alright, that introduction to this review feels very confusing and convoluted. But, honestly, that’s generally how I feel before, during and after reading one of the Discworld novels. They’re weird, they’re confusing, and they have a completely unique take on the world. Even when I feel like there may be a far better, more amazing message than what I’ve absorbed, I feel like I’ve learnt something interesting and fantastic after I turn the last page. The fact that this story is about the personification of Death, something that I have been struggling to deal with a little lately, just makes it all the more fun and poignant.
I loved the princess in distress with her noble rescuer theme throughout this. Yet, it was the fact that the ending wasn’t quite one that I expected that was really enjoyable. After all, the typical story would be tall, suave rescuer saves princess, they live happily ever after. Nothing goes like this throughout, and although Mort makes blunder after blunder in his apprenticeship, there is a really nice happily ever after (of a sorts) at the conclusion.
Title: Equal Rites Author: Terry Pratchett Series: Discworld #3, Witches #1 Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Medium Format: Novel Publisher: Corgi Year: 1987 5th sentence, 74th page: Across the forest animals broke and scattered as the shadow passed overhead, crying and cursing.
They say that a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it is not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.
The last thing the wizard Drum Billet did, before Death laid a bony hand on his shoulder, was to pass on his staff of power to the eighth son of an eighth son. Unfortunately for his colleagues in the chauvinistic (not to say misogynistic) world of magic, he failed to check that the bab in question was a son. Everybody knows that there’s no such thing as a female wizard. But now it’s gone and happened, there’s nothing much anyone can do about it. Let the batttle of the sexes begin…
There is an incredibly poignant and obvious message in this novel – that we are all equal and entitled to equal rights. That’s not to say that this tale isn’t filled with Pratchett’s (I hesitate to say) typical sense of humour. There is the satirical humour scattered throughout that draws you into his world, whether you want it to or not. Luckily, for me, I was ready and happy to be swept along in his chaotic, entertaining realm.
Esk is a typical little girl with six big brothers. She’s tough, independent and keen to prove herself against the big, wide world. The fact that she is partnered with a supremely magical and powerful wizard’s staff just helps to complicate things. That, and her mentor is a slightly uneducated witch. And there is no such thing as wizards in this world… when is anything ever simple in Discworld?
As I’ve mentioned before, I completely loved the fact that this book highlights women’s rights and equality. It is something that I strongly believe in, and although sometimes it is a topic touched upon, it isn’t something that people tend to really delve into when writing or reading. We talk about equality, but I haven’t actually read such a well written novel that highlights the importance of this. The fact that this story was written in the 80’s and is still discussing issues that we are facing today just heightens my respect for Terry Pratchett.
Title: Dating After the Apocalypse Author: Stephen Dorato In: Blood Lite III: Aftertaste (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Medium Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: Julie seemed to be a regular, ordinary girl – a bit reserved, but who wasn’t these days?
How does one date after the zombie apocalypse destroys the world?
I haven’t been single in a very long time. And I haven’t had the misfortune of too many horrible dates. Which makes it extra enjoyable (and kind of foreign) to read about dating. And horrible first dates. And one night stands… putting what I assume is a zombie apocalypse and the end of the world as we know it into the mix just made it all the more fascinating and enjoyable.
The way that this story, like all good short stories, turns itself on its head at the conclusion was highly entertaining. The idea that there are more terrors in settling down than people already experience kind of made a comment on how hard it can be to actually settle down. Both symbolically and physically, this is a good example of the difficulties of dating, getting married and living your happily ever after…
A zombie book signing and release just couldn’t go anymore wrong!
When I read the name of this short story I thought that there was a typo. After all, it is in a collection of short stories that are surrounded by horror and the paranormal… brains would make sense. Zombies after all. But within the first page, it finally makes sense… this is about a book that has a typo in it. It should be BRAINS! The author is an idiot.
This story touches really badly on mumma’s boys. And the irritating things that overbearing mothers do. Reading about it was painful. Reading about the end of this relationship was just… well… weird. I still don’t know how I feel about this short story. I think it’s just something that you have to read to experience it…
Title: Acknowledgements Author: Will Ludwigsen In: Blood Lite III (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 3.5 (Liked this) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading Pace: Slow Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: From her knowing glances to her sublime taste in hats, I couldn’t ask for a greater companion.
If these are the acknowledgments, I can’t wait to read the tale!
This acknowledgement is a great beginning to a fantasy book. The fact that the acknowledgement alone is its own short story is a little different admittedly, but one that I kind of enjoyed. And I’m more than a little disappointed by this apparent calamity of circumstances which would have made an interesting tale.
Normally I find acknowledgements boring – they don’t tell you a large amount about the people, because they’re almost designed just to thank the people who know how they’ve helped. But, the wording of this and the brilliance of the tale outlined in these nine pages kind of made this something worth reading. Although, probably only the once…
Title: The Light Fantastic Author: Terry Pratchett Series: Discworld #2, Rincewind #2 Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Medium Format: Novel Publisher: Corgi Year: 1986 5th sentence, 74th page: Rincewind hurried forward to help, there was a fair amount of smoke, ash and confusion, and the shared triumph of actually rescuing a few pieces of rather charred bacon did more good than a whole book on diplomacy.
‘What shall we do?’ said Twoflower. ‘Panic?’ said Rincewind hopefully. He always held that panic was the best means of survival.
As it moves towards a seemingly inevitable collision with a malevolent red star, the Discworld could do with a hero. What it doesn’t need is a singularly inept and cowardly wizard, still recovering from the trauma of falling off the edge of the world, or a well-meaning tourist and his luggage which has a mind (and legs) of its own. Which is a shame because that’s all there is…
The Colour of Magic ended with Rincewind falling off the edge of the earth. Which, with all of the flat earthers I keep hearing about lately just seems even more fitting and ironic… but anyway, it is one way in which to finish a novel. So, I really wasn’t sure what to expect from the next book in the series. After all, where do you go after someone falls off the edge of the world? It turns out to The Light Fantastic.
This story is every bit as entertaining and funny as the first one, and it finishes this small story arc off perfectly. Personally, my favourite line is “Rincewind said, grinning like a necrophiliac in a morgue”. (I may not have got the grammar in this quote perfect though). It kind of sums up the entire story perfectly. Wrong, funny and with great descriptives that I have never thought of using in my own writing… sometimes because it is just this side of wrong. I also love the long, rambling sentences. As someone who has read many science papers with these kinds of convoluted bits of wording, I normally find them frustrating. But, somehow Pratchett is able to make them fun, engaging and poetic in a way that no other author or writer I have come across is able to do.
I really enjoyed Rincewind as the chief protagonist. He is completely inept, a total coward, and not quite capable of even being a real wizard. Yet, at the end of this tale, he is kind of able to find his own power and space. It reminds us that everyone has their own strength, and ignoring someone because they don’t fit your own idea of this is foolish, wrong, and kind of cruel. But that’s okay, because Rincewind proves them all wrong and ultimately saves the Disc…
Title: Mint in Box Author: Mike Baron In: Blood Lite III (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy, Horror Pace: Fast Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: “Well, Mr. Lovaas, I don’t know.”
Mr. Lovaas wants to find the ultimate collectible, but when he does, he gets more than he bargained for…
This story gave me the goosebumps. It was grotesque, creepy and so open ended that you could imagine the villain coming for you in the dark of night. The fact that it featured a nerd who refused to leave his apartment and hunted for the epitome of horrifying collectibles… it somehow made it all the more creepy.
I don’t know if there is something in this story that highlights our obsession with immortality or our materialistic tendencies, but it feels like it lingers. Yet, mostly, for me, this story is riddled with goosebump-giving passages that make me cringe. And I’m kind of glad that it was just a short story.
Title: The Great Zombie Invasion of 1979 Author: JG Faherty In: Blood Lite III (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!) My Bookshelves:Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Slow Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: What’s that you said?
A pair of rednecks come across what they believe is a zombie invasion… what could possibly go wrong?
This story was kind of weird, uncomfortable, and funny all at the same time.
In case you can’t tell, I had very mixed feelings about it. It was entertaining, but kind of rude towards others. It was a little predictable that the two main characters acted in the way that they did. But, still quite funny. The innuendos and sly little comments throughout also made this amusing. And gross. And weird.
Title: Let That Be a Lesson To You Author: Mark Onspaugh In: Blood Lite III (Kevin J. Anderson) Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!) My Bookshelves: Comedy, Easy reading, Fantasy Pace: Fast Format: Short story Publisher: Gallery Books Year: 2012 5th sentence, 74th page: SO, YOU WANT TO BE A DEMONOLOGIST?
Sometimes you mess up and summon a demon. Sometimes it takes a book to get out of it… or not.
After the first few pages of this, I thought that I knew where it was going. An unexpecting apprentice accidentally summons a demon… the demon gains the upper hand… the apprentice is trying to find a way out of it. Hence, the book of lessons. However, like all good short stories, there is a twist at the end that made me laugh. It also left me feeling a little perplexed and confused. I think I understand it, but I’m really not 100% sure.
Something about this storyline has lingered and made me wonder / think about what really happened. Was he the demon? Was she? Who needed rescuing from whom?
Title: For Sale
Title: Dating After the Apocalypse
Earth and Skye 