Tag Archives: Blood Lite

High Kicks and Misdemeanors by Janet Berliner

Book Review, , , ,
Overview
Blood Lite

Title: High Kicks and Misdemeanors
Author: Janet Berliner
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 3 (On the fence about this one)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Fantasy, Gangsters
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: “‘Scuse me?'”

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Synopsis

Willie had an ostrich spirit-guide, and now he’s passing that knowledge and gift on to another.

Thoughts

This story is just damn weird. It’s one of those that no matter how many times I read it – I’m going to feel confused. And unsure. And also slightly entertained and amused. It is weird. Funny. And just balls out odd.

Even reading this, I wasn’t 100% sure of exactly what was going on. There was an uncle figure who was Native American. There were strippers. And Vegas. And spirit animals that were ostriches… did I mention that this was weird?

Normally I’m great with the weirdness factor. I thrive on weird (I myself am an oddbod), but this was almost at my threshold… there was something just a little too much about it that wasn’t quite working… something I’ll certainly give another try though.

 <- A Good Psycho is Hard to Find ReviewPR Problems Review ->
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A Good Psycho is Hard to Find by Will Ludwigsen

Book Review, , ,
Overview
Blood Lite

Title: A Good Psycho is Hard to Find
Author: Will Ludwigsen
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 3.5 (Liked this)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Horror
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: We wiped down the chainsaw and tossed it in the Dumpster.

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Synopsis

It can be hard to find the right amount of passion in a relationship… but for this young couple, things are about to take a sinister turn.

Thoughts

Well. This took an unexpected turn. Like really unexpected. And more than a little creepy. And just… yeah, not really quite right there.

It can be difficult to be passionate with your significant other when life gets in the way. And for the couple in this tale, they are certainly finding it hard to rekindle their first flames. That is, until they realise that they just need a good dose of adrenaline to throw them into each others’ arms. It’s more so where they get this adrenaline from that is unexpected. And in so many ways, not okay…

 <- Dear Prudence ReviewHigh Kicks and Misdemeanors Review ->
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Dear Prudence by Steven Savile

Book Review, ,
Overview
Blood Lite

Title: Dear Prudence
Author: Steven Savile
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 3 (On the fence about this one)
My Bookshelves: Horror
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: Sunlight and a crucifix.

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Synopsis

Miller needs to leave a note for his wife Prudence. But it takes him a little while to figure out exactly what he wants to say.

Thoughts

This story is just damned uncomfortable. To the point that I don’t even know how to shelf it – it was kind of funny, but mostly just… well…. Uncomfortable.

As the title suggests, this short story is effectively a letter to Prudence. Actually, it’s a series of different drafts that go into very graphic details about how and what Mike wants to do to Prudence (hence the uncomfortable part). There is a lot of background and reflection that has been shoved into a few pages. Which makes it both better and intensely more not-okay.

 <- An Evening with Al Gore ReviewA Good Psycho is Hard to Find Review ->
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An Evening with Al Gore by Charlaine Harris

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: An Evening with Al Gore
Author: Charlaine Harris
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Vampires, Werewolves
Pace: Slow
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: We want this to be a private affair.

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Synopsis

Toddy just wants to make the world a better place. But the way she goes about it is a little… unorthodox.

Thoughts

I literally laughed out loud when I read the last line of this story. Which kind of scared my dog because I normally don’t make so much noise when I’m walking around the house reading. Or really, much noise at all when I’m home alone. I normally am very careful with the vampire and werewolf books that I read when home alone because I can get some whacked out nightmares. This is not the kind of story that makes me feel concerned about this. It’s the kind of light-hearted tale that makes me laugh. In a very weird, very loud spasm.

I love the idea that there is a couple who are passionate environmentalists. And they happen to be werewolves. And they want to change the way that those most heavily responsible for environmental degradation think. It all just works exceedingly beautifully in my brain. The fact that the “bad guys” don’t repent wasn’t in the slightest bit surprising, and I laughed to myself throughout the tale. Now I have to return to the world of reality and continue attempting to do my own part for the environment… lest a vampire or werewolf decide to take their revenge.

 <- The Sound of Blunder Review Dear Prudence Review ->
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The Sound of Blunder by J.A. Konrath and F. Paul Wilson

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: The Sound of Blunder
Author: J.A. Konrath & F. Paul Wilson
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Easy reading
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: Hey, did you eat all the duck sauce?

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Synopsis

Mick and Willie are in a buttload of trouble with their drug-dealing boss. But things are about to get a whole lot worse…

Thoughts

This was a pretty tripped out story. In more ways than one.

It starts off with two total douche bags who owe a pound or so of cocaine to their boss. But it’s been baked into a cake. Now, I’m not really sure what happens after that, whether they eat the cake, or they actually time travel. But shit just gets weirder and weirder and weirder as the story unfolds.

Like seriously weird. So weird that I can’t actually explain what is going on… or how I feel about it… or really anything.

 <- Old School Review An Evening with Al Gore Review ->
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Old School by Mark Onspaugh

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: Old School
Author: Mark Onspaugh
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Fantasy, Zombies
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: It wasn’t even Old English like Chaucer or something.

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Synopsis

Onspaugh reminds us that there is a reason you should never play with that which you don’t understand…

Thoughts

This is an incredibly quick, short, sharp and shiny tale. That mostly reminds us not to play with zombies, rituals and reincarnations of any shape or kind.

Six pages and the story has been through an entire rollercoaster of beginning, middle and end. And the only message and idea that I got from it was that I’m not reading out or performing any rituals at any point in time.

I repeat. Do not perform seances, rituals, anything of the sort. Unless you really, really, really know what you’re doing. Otherwise you’ll end up like the people in this story…

 <- No Problem Review The Sound of Blunder Review ->
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No Problem by Don D’Amassa

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: No Problem
Author: Don D’Amassa
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 4 (Really good read!)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Dark fantasy, Easy reading
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: I didn’t invite him in.

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Synopsis

Frankenstein’s many greats- grandson has discovered his secret formula for life. And it’s no problem at all… until it becomes a problem.

Thoughts

This was a twisted, funny and kind of problematic story. One thing after another goes wrong. Again and again and again. Which is, quite frankly, hilarious. And also painful. The man makes one wrong decision after another.

I like the references to Frankenstein and that his many-greats-grandson follows much the same path of foolishness. Having only read Frankenstein earlier this year, it was fun to read such a humorous little tale loosely based on this. And now it just makes me want to pick up the original classic again…

 <- Elvis Presley and the Bloodsucker Blues Review Old School Review ->
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Elvis Presley and the Bloodsucker Blues by Matt Venne

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: Elvis Presley and the Bloodsucker Blues
Author: Matt Venne
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 3.5 (Liked this)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Horror, Vampires
Pace: Medium
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: I followed his gaze over my shoulder, discovered that the dude was staring at the risin’ sun on the horizon.

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Synopsis

The true, hollywood version of Elvis Presley’s death…

Thoughts

I have a mother who is obsessed with Elvis Presley. Actually, everytime I hear him I think of Christmas because that is the only time of year my dad can tolerate listening to it anymore. Somehow, Elvis Presley has become our Christmas music. Which is weird to say the least. So reading this gave me a weird feeling of Christmas. Even though it had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with that time of year…

I thoroughly enjoyed this unique take on what truly happened to Elvis in his last years of life. The why and how of his death and the fact that he didn’t really go off of his rocker in his final days. It was very clever and unique. But, as much as I enjoyed it, something about the prose just wasn’t as enjoyable as usual…

 <- The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror Review No Problem Review ->
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The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror by Christopher Welch

Book Review, , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror
Author: Christopher Welch
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 4.5 (Amazing, but not quite perfect)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Horror
Pace: Slow
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: If you finished Foucault’s Pendulum, you must really have a problem, Chris,” Tom said.

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Synopsis

Chris is an addict and just when he thinks he’s about to break the habit, a spectre from his dreams (or is it nightmares) appears in the hopes that he’ll continue…

Thoughts

I laughed at this. So much. And so hard. Maybe a little harder than I needed to. It was late at night, so sue me…

Chris is an addict, and a writer and just when he thinks he’s about to beat the habit, he’s told not to. In the most condescending, patronising way possible. Which was incredibly fun to read. Mostly, I just love the patronising tone of the story and the way in which Welch is able to layer his twisted fantasy world on top of our real one.

There is no message behind this story. It isn’t horrifying or intriguing. But it’s funny. And easy. And just a really enjoyable tale to read late at night before going to bed, with a smile plastered across your lips.

 <- Hell in a Handbasket Review Elvis Presley and the Bloodsucker Blues Review ->
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Hell in a Handbasket by Lucien Soulban

Book Review, , , ,

Overview

Blood LiteTitle: Hell in a Handbasket
Author: Lucien Soulban
In: Blood Lite (Kevin J. Anderson)
Rating Out of 5: 5 (I will read this again and again and again)
My Bookshelves: Comedy, Dark fantasy, Demons
Pace: Fast
Format: Short story
Publisher: Pocket Books
Year: 2008
5th sentence, 74th page: He patted his stomach.

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Synopsis

A baby is left at the gates of hell… and well, all hell breaks loose.

Thoughts

I laughed a LOT at this short story. And full on laughing out loud as well. Not just quite inside giggles or secret smiles to myself. I chortled loudly and very happily as I read this story. It was funny, cute and had that slightly sarcastic and witty humour that I tend to love.

There is also a dash of mystery in this short story. Primarily, who in the hell would leave a baby at the literal gates of hell? But as that mystery is uncovered… well, it gets even funnier and more entertaining. And the retaliation when they find out what’s going on was just amazingly poetic.

 <- Mr. Bear Review The Eldritch Pastiche from Beyond the Shadow of Horror Review ->
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