I had an assignment due today. And I haven’t even started it. I thought that I had started to think about it, so I had a bit of an idea about what I needed to do. But, it turns out that my case study has already been picked for me, so it is nothing like what I thought. Which means I’m screwed. It’s not getting handed in on time. I’m just hoping to get it in less than 24 hours late… but even that feels kind of unlikely. I’ve spent 2 hours staring at the screen and the template trying to figure out what I’m actually doing. Why oh why did I choose a business subject?!?!? I know nothing about business!

So basically, I’m screwed. Especially since I never hand things in late. I’m the girl who finishes major assignments (did I mention that I’m talking about a major assignment here?) a week early. Which is just freaking me out even more.

So I’m sitting here wondering what’s going on – am I struggling with this because I’ve freaked myself out by being so late? Or is it because I just generally don’t mesh well with business as a subject? Or is it just time to take a break from studying? I’ve fallen a little behind because of being sick the last few weeks, but also because I’ve been working so much. And, working and reading and writing has actually left me really enjoying life. So, I keep wondering where that leaves study?

Full disclosure, I’m doing postgrad studies and this is my seventh year out of high school and in university. My partner doesn’t understand studying – he’s a tradie. So I’m left with my own mind and decisions – when is enough enough with study? When do you say, I haven’t had any luck getting work from University, so maybe I’ll try something new? Which, since I’m not actually handing things up on time (and struggling for almost the first time ever), I am starting to question my future goals. The fact that there’s a mortgage and two fur babies just makes everything more difficult.

Alright, contrary to the title of this blog – I’m not actually screwed. I’m struggling with one assignment (and the end of a subject), but it’s not really the end of the world. It’s just a reminder that I think my world has changed. Study is no longer my first priority. And sometimes it’s a horrible thing (like today), but sometimes it’s actually kind of nice. So, maybe instead of freaking out about what I’m going to do in the future. And about whether or not I will be able to finish this damn assignment… I’m going to focus on just taking every single moment and minute that comes my way.

Image source: GuoGuiyan